areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
