apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize