I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
