are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
