then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize