Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just google imaged poop.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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