We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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