And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize