Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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