what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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