Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
God, I missed his penis.
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