not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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