Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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