Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
