Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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