Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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