Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
