why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
