Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
