Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize