Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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