I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
