Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Two words: nipple clamps
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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