even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize