Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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