apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize