PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
