your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
