You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
