she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
