it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize