My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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