i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She's the barista slut.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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