Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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