After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
How external is "for external use only"?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
