true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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