I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
