After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
