How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
