So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
