I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
