So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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