Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
