Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
