was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
