hotel room ftw
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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