I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
