Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
