it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
