You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
