you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
