but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
sex in a hospital.. check
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
