Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
