Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
