No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
