he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
