The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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