She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm passing your future prison.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The uberlube is also flammable
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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