Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
