North Korea, Best Korea!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
