its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
