Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
